Welcome to my world.....

Today...just flashpoints. Friend is struggling, new friend is struggling. Niece is heartbroken. Parents found a good doctor they like to treat my dad's cancer. My dad had cancer. :/  Very treatable kind, great recovery rate, but damn....I have a tiny..um...medical issue that is annoying the living shit out of me! (no more on that!) My sister is stressed.  I am overeducated, underemployed, broke, confused, and scared. I have to choose a direction for my life, and I have been a deer in the headlights for 2+ years now, while living (at 43) in a senior community in my mother's Mickey Mouse guest room. (My mother would rather it be Mickey). I live across the hall from my grandmother, who can be challenging. She, and my parents, all have CRS (Can't Remember Shit) and that makes things challenging for those of us who don't. :)  My parents and grandmother don't get along, and I've become "the marshmallow" that buffers them.  We've all been to a campfire...you can guess how the marshmallow feels about the party.  I've been working retail for 2 years, and my mind is numb, and I have learned to hate the elderly. (Especially the elderly from the NYC area).  I can feel myself becoming more and more stooopid. I wouldn't say my life has much meaning at all. Apparently, I'm going into the medical field, a "practical" choice that will provide a good salary, benefits, and a great chance of employment. Woohoo. I have no calling there at all, which makes it difficult to get excited about it. If they interview me, will they refuse me admittance if I say "I'm going into this field so my mother will get off my ass and I can move out of her house"?  I'm looking at Radiology and Sonography, in part because my hands-on patient care will be brief. I'm well trained at soothing people, so I think that I will do fine at it, but I'm running out of years, and "fine" just seems like settling. But how long can I wander....I truly am lost.