Wow, March...it's been a long while since I posted!  Well, nobody's read it anyway, so no harm, no foul. :)

Tonight is New Year's...technically, it's 3 a.m. on January 1st already! Stayed up late as usual. :) 

Went to Disney for dinner - Ohana - and ate my own weight in meat. Tomorrow, back to being a vegetarian! I want one more day!  But I'm sure the tortured animals wanted one more day, too - or even just one day, without pain or fear. :(  Suck it up!

Gonna work on a lot of things this year, slow and steady. Weight loss, health in general. Take more walks. Buy some hand weights and try not to trip over them every day. Be patient with Huck, with granny, with my mom and dad. Try not to remind them all "you TOLD me this story 80 times already" - they cant help it, and it just makes them feel bad. Whats the point?  Oh, get my " button fixed - it's jacked up and working sporadically, and annoying me. :)  Be nice to people, or at least shut my mouth and not be mean to them. Be kind, work on patience in general. Be a good friend to people who are genuine friends. Cut out some toxic crap from my life. Lower my darned bike seat so I RIDE it! oi. Take a deep breath when I'm getting cranky, check myself more often. Watch my expressions.  Write letters again. Keep my car clean.  Take my pills every single day.  Help my parents more. Stop kvetching so much. BE GRATEFUL - I have so very much!  Be nice on FB. Apologize when I need to. Walk many miles in many shoes, or at least take a stroll around the block. :)

And create! music, jewelry, little painted thinggies, needlework, you name it. USE the materials I have!  Donate time or money I can spare to causes I believe in. Save some money. Don't be crazy with shopping.

Do what I want to do, in a way that doesn't hurt others. Take care of myself better- more sleep, more exercise, less food, less stress. More contentment.  

Time for bed!  Hoping for a good night's sleep.

2013, let's be friends! :)

Welcome to my world.....

Today...just flashpoints. Friend is struggling, new friend is struggling. Niece is heartbroken. Parents found a good doctor they like to treat my dad's cancer. My dad had cancer. :/  Very treatable kind, great recovery rate, but damn....I have a tiny..um...medical issue that is annoying the living shit out of me! (no more on that!) My sister is stressed.  I am overeducated, underemployed, broke, confused, and scared. I have to choose a direction for my life, and I have been a deer in the headlights for 2+ years now, while living (at 43) in a senior community in my mother's Mickey Mouse guest room. (My mother would rather it be Mickey). I live across the hall from my grandmother, who can be challenging. She, and my parents, all have CRS (Can't Remember Shit) and that makes things challenging for those of us who don't. :)  My parents and grandmother don't get along, and I've become "the marshmallow" that buffers them.  We've all been to a campfire...you can guess how the marshmallow feels about the party.  I've been working retail for 2 years, and my mind is numb, and I have learned to hate the elderly. (Especially the elderly from the NYC area).  I can feel myself becoming more and more stooopid. I wouldn't say my life has much meaning at all. Apparently, I'm going into the medical field, a "practical" choice that will provide a good salary, benefits, and a great chance of employment. Woohoo. I have no calling there at all, which makes it difficult to get excited about it. If they interview me, will they refuse me admittance if I say "I'm going into this field so my mother will get off my ass and I can move out of her house"?  I'm looking at Radiology and Sonography, in part because my hands-on patient care will be brief. I'm well trained at soothing people, so I think that I will do fine at it, but I'm running out of years, and "fine" just seems like settling. But how long can I wander....I truly am lost.